by Ashley Harris for diaVerge Diabetes
Parenting a child with type 1 diabetes is a lot like parenting a child without type 1 diabetes...or at least it should be. We have a responsibility to teach our kids (chronic disease or not) how to make good decisions...decisions that are going to keep them healthy and happy. We need to set boundaries for our kids that are going to keep them safe. It's our job to ensure that we are raising kids that are confident and secure in who they are. Kids that can stand up for themselves and make the decisions that are right FOR THEM. We want to raise kids that feel empowered and in control of their lives.
What can we, as parents, do to help our child that is living with type 1 diabetes feel empowered and in control of their disease and their life?
How can we ensure that we are not only providing our kid with the best physical health possible but that we are also fostering, within our kid, a healthy mindset and attitude towards living well with type 1 diabetes?
1) We can't allow ourselves or our child to feel like a victim of this disease.
Let's teach our child that THEY control their type 1 diabetes, it does NOT control them.
One mentality that is rampant within the diabetes community is that "diabetes has a mind of its own." This insinuates that there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to how blood sugars behave and perpetuates the idea that type 1 diabetes cannot be well-controlled. This type of attitude can do serious damage to our kid's perspective of their health. When we portray to our child that there is no way to make sense of their blood sugar, we are teaching them that they are nothing but a passive observer to the outcome of their health. There is nothing they can do, diabetes is unpredictable, they might as well not even try.
Instead, let's teach our child that type 1 diabetes CAN be controlled! There are steps our kid can take to make understanding and predicting their blood sugar easier. Eating a low carb diet significantly increases the odds that they will be successful in determining the cause of blood sugar fluctuations. This is empowering for kids with type 1 diabetes because they no longer feel like their diabetes is a thing they have no control over.
They begin to see that consistent inputs produce consistent outputs. Success breeds motivation. As our child starts to believe that they CAN, in fact, control their blood sugar, they are motivated and encouraged to continue doing so.
2) Type 1 diabetes does not dictate what they choose to do and who they choose to become.
THEY are the ones in control of their life...not diabetes. We should be encouraging our kids to get involved in any activity that they may be interested in. Our child needs to know that having type 1 diabetes should not limit their activities in any way. Again, we must stress to our kids that the way for them to stay in the driver's seat, is by maintaining control of their diabetes. As long as they commit to keeping themselves healthy, there are no limits as to what they can do!
3) We must eradicate the idea that "fitting in" is the end all be all for our kids.
When something as traumatic as a type 1 diabetes diagnosis happens within our family, it can throw off our parenting game. As a type of defense mechanism, we look for any way that our kid can remain a "normal" kid. In an instant, we go from being the parent preaching "It’s okay to be different!" to the parent breaking our neck to prevent our kid from ever appearing different in any way.
The simple truth is, having type 1 diabetes DOES make our kid different. Instead of denying that truth, let's teach our child that being different is never something to be ashamed of.
Many parents get hung up on the idea that their kid's self-esteem is going to shrivel up and die if they don't allow them to eat Cheetos and Little Debbies at school like their friends. I know that for my daughter, I hope that her sense of self-esteem is built on something more substantial than how similar she can be to her friends.
I want my daughter to be confident enough to stand up for herself and to make her own decisions about what is best for her. Maybe this means that she brings her own low carb cupcake to a birthday party or takes a different snack to eat at school.
Do I really want to teach my child that "fitting in" is more important than taking care of her body and her health? Absolutely not.
4) Commit to eating low carb with your child.
Show them by example that low carb.can be delicious and satisfying and that you don't feel deprived eating this way. We all know that our kids are much more likely to do as we do than to do as we say. Your child needs to see that you are committed to a healthy lifestyle right alongside them. Making sure that you have a healthy relationship with food is going to go a long way in helping your child to develop a healthy relationship with food.
5.) Diabetes Care is Non-Negotiable.
Parental fears can greatly influence how a child responds to diabetes. If a parent is scared to do an injection, a child will see that it’s something to be feared. If a parent gives a choice, anxiety will often build up and make the event more traumatic than it otherwise would have been. There’s a reason that nurses do vaccinations quickly and it’s over before you know the injection has even happened. It’s no-nonsense. Done.
We need to teach our children to do what they need to do to take care of themselves, in a calm and matter-of-fact manner, so they can move on with their day.
Raising a child with type 1 diabetes to be a confident and secure individual means being intentional in showing them that this disease is only a small part of them, it does not define who they are. It means showing them that THEY are the captain of their ship. It is up to them to make wise decisions that will keep diabetes from interfering with their plans. It means teaching them to strike a balance between acknowledging how diabetes needs to play into their decision making while knowing that THEY retain the power to steer their life in whatever direction they choose...and having type 1 diabetes can never take that power away from them.
